While you were reading our story, you unknowingly opened a doorway for the guild to see what's in your head. We know what makes you tick. We know your greatest fears. We know who you are at the deepest level of your existence. We watched as you learned about us, always staying out of sight until now.

As you know, FX fulfilled his obligation to us in bringing our story to life. He is no longer haunted by the guild. Our control over him is limited and he currently shows little interest in increasing our popularity by writing my story. While this angers myself and the guild, we honor our agreement and will not exert our "influence" on him any longer.

Fortunately, FX is no longer needed to further our cause. Through his writings the guild has been building a force of replacements. Each reader of our story will be called on to bring attention to The Guild of Fallen Clowns. We thrive on attention and adherence to our rules. The time has come for us to collect. Some of you already know what we want from you. Others will be contacted in your dreams. In the darkness of night you will receive instructions. Please do us all a favor and obey these instructions.

Also: I should tell you that the guild doesn't make their wishes clear. For FX, Peepers appeared outside his two story bedroom window in the middle of the night. He was quietly juggling invisible balls as he stared into FX's single open eye. He disappeared without saying a word, but FX knew what he needed to do. Your message will likely be just as vague. It might take you some time to figure it out. The only thing you must know is that the message must never be interpreted as instructions for you to cause harm to any person or animal. The guild has enough crazies. If you have the propensity for violence, they already know this and will not ask for your help. We aren't interested in dealing with nut jobs so take a hike freak.

Disclaimer: The Guild of Fallen Clowns is a fictional story. While it is true that FX did see a dark figure that he based the Peepers character on, he realizes that it was just his mind tricking him during that state between sleep and wake. And the fact that shortly after that experience he discovered a talent for sculpting is purely coincidental. The Alan character is not based on FX's life. FX never worked at a pizza shop and he doesn't even like clowns so he'd never become a part time carnival clown, or any other type of clown. He doesn't even play computer games. Lastly, I, The Ringmaster don't exist. So whatever I'm telling you in this blog is purely fictitious bull shit. I'm not even FX's alter ego, or a multiple personality hidden deep within him. As a matter of fact, this blog doesn't exist. Forget everything you think you read here because none of it is real and you're probably just losing your mind. Just don't hurt anyone or do anything stupid based on what you read (or think you read) here.

Long live Happy McGiggles!

I don't agree with his strategy, but FX decided to make the ebook free for awhile. I've seen all of you reading the pages, and I know what you are thinking about me. For that matter, we've all been watching you. Geno, Peepers, Spanky, Igor and the rest of the guild have been reading your thoughts as you judge us in the authors skewed distortions of the truth. The truth is, we are much worse than he is capable of describing in words. He's weak, but we are working on that.

For now we ask one thing of you. If you enjoyed the story (only if you enjoyed it), say so in your reviews. Let others know about us and we will grow stronger. If you don't do this for us... well, lets just say, the guild is growing more powerful from
Hey FX! It's about time. I don't know what took you so long, but you finally got your shit together and put the book online. Good for you douche bag. Now everyone will discover The Ringmaster. Although your distorted view of me is way off base, I'm willing to overlook it because I'm a better person than you. Besides, I'm more interested in bringing attention to my guild. Soon, our readers will discover my plan for the guilds future in our world. But first, we need to build an audience. So get back to work FX. Stop wasting time with this stupid blog
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't read the book, DO NOT READ MY BLOG!!! It will give away the ending. We hate those people without patience. Back off, or I might have to bring Peepers out of retirement. You don't know what that means do you? Of course not, you haven't read the frickin' book!

My name is The Ringmaster. Yes, "The" is my legal, yet fictional first name, but beyond that, the author got everything else wrong about me. He painted me out to be a weasley control freak, who thinks everyone was out to get me. These are all lies! He may have "created" me, but that doesn't mean he knows who The Ringmaster is on the inside. In an effort to correct his distorted depiction of me, I created this blog to set the record straight.

First of all, I changed my name to 'The Ringmaster' as a tribute to my deceased father. I wear his old Ringmaster uniform in honor.  Cracky and Alan belittle me because they fear me. They know I have great potential and in their weak minds, it's easier to mock me than face the truth of my greatness. And they think I'm paranoid? Look in the mirror gentlemen! Oh that's right, Alan is afraid of mirrors. He won't dare to step foot inside MY Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors again.

That's right! I said "My" Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors. Now that Peepers was cast out, and Geno killed himself to take his position, I run the place. The author made it look like I was scared to be inside the labyrinth. Well, if that was true, how would I have the courage to take over and run the show? Like I said, the book was all wrong about me. And now that I'm in charge, I'm going to use my considerable sculpting talents to help the members of MY guild. And, unlike the job Alan started, my new guild won't kill people. We are about helping people overcome their fears in more constructive ways. Some people might resist the guilds help. That would be unwise. We won't kill them, like Alan and Peepers did, but lets just say it will go easier for them to follow our rules and comply with the clowns instructions. In time, I will reverse the maligned perceptions of me, and the world will view me as the most powerful and just leader of all time.

    The Ringmaster

    Don't get ahead of yourself. Refer to the spoiler alert to the left.

    There isn't a picture of me because apparently, I don't really exist. I'm told that I'm just a fictional character from the book, "The Guild of Fallen Clowns". I don't know if this is true or not, but one thing I do know is that since Peepers was cast from the guild and Geno died, the guild is mine. I am the guilds mortal leader and Geno reports to me now from the other side. Under my control, things are about to change. Alan was nothing compared to me. I have more talent in my pinky than he has in his entire body. If anyone is fictional around here, it's him. His story was just the beginning. Wait till you see what The Ringmaster has in store for The Guild of Fallen Clowns.


    February 2012
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011